This Secret is so multi dimensional for me. Reading this chapter tasted both bitter and sweet. As an artist, I am eternally grateful to the universe for delivering me from a tormented existence in a partnership which I had no true vision of for a long time because i became entirely immersed in it and wholly swallowed up by it.
The problem? Me. The realization? You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Last year I re-dedicated myself to the 'visualization of my dreams' manifesting in my physical life. I studied and learned to meditate. Now, mind you, I was not a model student and am still not a very learned and practiced meditator, but I went to a seminar, read a few books . . . Things began to literally show up in my life. People approached me with these very ideas and things showed up more and more and this shift in my entire way of living began to take place.
As an artist and graphic designer, I was one half of a partnership. A business partnership that stemmed from a friendship born out of our children's friendship. It began as one thing and then over years and changes and priorities and visions became entirely another. I had no idea it was ok that it didn't stay the way it began.
The 'Ah-ha' moment came when I watched my throat being cut. Hold on . . . here's the important part:
AND SOMETHING INSIDE OF ME UNFURLED AND REJOICED!
It is hard when a partnership ends. It hurts. No matter how it comes down, in the end letting go is never easy. I will forever keep this in mind and I will honor the powers that drew us together and then apart. I've learned not to push so hard. Let things come. Be authentic to yourself, and in doing that, you can accept what others offer and let the magic in! And mine came in like the flood to Noah.
Suddenly I knew that I was free. But it's not what you might think. What I was free of was ME. I stopped being a pleaser and started living authentically and by that I mean I stopped thinking so much and began listening . . . accepting . . . smiling . . . rejoicing in the truth. My truth.
It is okay to GROW. Even if you grow apart. Growth is essential and people outgrow one another every second of every day. The important thing is to know when to let go and move on. Let yourself out! Accept and love yourself for who you are and celebrate your talents instead of torturing them into what you think others want them to be or not to be.
Partnership means taking a good honest look at our own ways of dealing with things, good, bad, ugly and perhaps foremost: transparently. We need to accept and love what we bring to the table in order to accept other's gifts.
Are two heads better than one? Absolutely! They can be! But for me, the key to this is self love. I have since had the luck and honor to come together with some fabulous groups of people who are open and giving and just being in their presence inspires me. And I look forward to many many more retreats with friends and artists who are generous enough to share.
It seems we all have had our own brushes with partners as opposed to collaborators. It is hard not to be jaded by bad experiences, but in loving ourselves we are protected and you know, we are more giving and open as well. Life is about learning and loving after all!
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